Thursday, July 21, 2005

Nut cases abound

We have a new neighbor. She's a single mother with 3 kids, and she moved in about 3 months ago. She seemed like a reasonably nice person; she works part-time on weekends while the 3 kids are with their respective fathers. Now I'm starting to wonder.

She told us about a month ago that she was thinking about putting a fence around her yard so she could work outside without worrying about the toddlers running around and getting into the street.

Well......a few days ago, I came home to find the *beautiful* 8-foot lilac bush off of the corner of our garage cut to the ground. It was a gorgeous plant, and it was the only color in the spring. Granted, it was on her property, but still. When she told me "it's only a plant, and I don't "do" plants," I should've known.

For the last week, trees have been falling everywhere. We have a swail that runs between our two houses, and it drains to the large swail in the back. I should say we DID have a swail; it's now a series of large holes, with beer-bellied, crack-exposing men standing over them going "Huh. They sure filled up with water. I wonder why?" They also dug the holes right through the root systems of the remaining pine trees. Billy-Joe-Jim-Bob's Fence Service, the finest around. I give those trees about 6 months before they die off.

It turns out, she's not putting up a simple chain link fence (which her neighbors on the other side already have for their dogs). She's putting up a solid wood, 6 foot tall fence. ALL the way around the nearly 1/2 acre back yard. It's going to be hideous.

Now, I don't know about you, but where I grew up, you didn't put up a fence like that unless you were feuding with the neighbors on both sides, or you were doing something illegal. The only person on the entire street who has a fence like that is Crazy Esther, and she put it up because she thought the neighbors were stealing her grass.

As far as I know, we're not feuding. That leaves the other option, which might actually explain how a person who only works 8 hours a week as an emergency room nurse can afford a new house, a new minivan, and a 6 foot tall solid wood fence.

Vent, vent, vent. I'm just waiting for the next big storm after this monstrosity goes up. Either she's going to have an enormous flood in her back yard (did I tell you they're putting the fence THROUGH her back swail?) or we are. It had better not be the latter, because as far as I can tell, she never had the property surveyed.



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