sad, but true

from an email from my cousin Amy:

Subject: THIS HAPPENED TO ME....HONEST!!

I know you have read the scare-mail about the person whose kidneys were stolen while he was passed out. Whilst that was an "urban legend," this one is not. It's happening every day. I'm sending this warning to all of my closest friends. You, too, may have been a victim. Read on.....

My thighs were stolen from me during the night of August 3rd a few years ago. It was just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with someone else's thighs. The new ones had the texture of cooked oatmeal.

Whose thighs were these? What happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for them. I searched, in vain, at pools and beaches, anyplace where female limbs might be exposed. I became obsessed. I had nightmares filled with cellulite and flesh that turned to bumps in the night. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and Sheer Energy pantyhose.

Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again. My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new butt, although it was badly attached. It was three inches lower than the original to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier.

A year later, it was my breasts. Once full, yet perky, they now lay like bags of water on my chest, no longer proudly pointing forward to greet the world, but looking down at my feet, as though hanging in shame.

Two years ago, I realized my arms had been switched. One morning while fixing my hair, I watched, horrified but fascinated, as the flesh of my upper arms swung to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. Bat wings!! And I didn't even see the Bat Signal! This was really getting scary!! My body was being replaced, cleverly and fiendishly, one section at a time. In the end, in deepening despair, I gave up my t-shirts.

What could they do to me next?

Age? Age had nothing to do with it. Age was supposed to creep up, unnoticed and intangible, something like maturity. NO, I was being attacked, repeatedly and without warning.

That's why I've decided to share my story. I can't take on the medical profession by myself... Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee! That isn't really "plastic" those surgeons are using. You know where they're getting those replacement parts, don't you? The next time you suspect someone has had a face "lifted," look again! Was it lifted from you? Check out those tummy tucks and butt raisings. Look familiar?

Are those your eyelids on that movie star?

I think I finally may have found my thighs, and I hope Cindy Crawford paid a really good price for them!

This is NOT a hoax! This is happening every night to women in every town all across the world. Warn your FRIENDS! YIKES!!!!